Old Man Ten

"Old Man Ten had ten young get/ Yet not a one of them was young/ But Old Man Ten would soon be dead/ And about his bed they hung.

An ocean of tears did they each give/ To shower their dying dad/ On the day it looked like he might live/ Not one in ten was glad.

'It looks the worst,' said dear old dad/ It looks as if I may pull through!/ 'Fret not father! Poison's to be had/ That could do for five of you!'

'Or I could find a big red rock!'/ Exclaimed the youngest of his brood/ 'And all the redder it would look/ With the addition of your blood!'

'No no, I say, each is too dull/ Not one of them will end my days/ I wish to die, be nix and null/ In death I wish to stay.'

'Forget the stones, he'll want a blade!/ Sharp as blade can be!/ And when we've done just as he bade/ He'll share his death with me!'

'A wench! A fresh and lusty wench!/ No, two! No, three! No, four!/ The heart of him they'll twist and wrench/ Until he's dead on the floor!'

'No no, I say, each is too dull/ Not one of them will end my days/ I wish to die, be nix and null/ In death I wish to stay.'

'I will take you out into snow,'/ mused the cruelest of his bunch/ 'And to the wolves I'll have you go/ They'll eat you up for lunch!'

'I'll throw you through the big window/ Like an eagle will you fly/ And when you crumple on crags below/ You'll smile as you die.'

'No no, I say, each is too dull/ Not one of them will end my days/ I wish to die, be nix and null/ In death I wish to stay.'

'BOO! Haha, I'll scare you stiff!/ A fright will stop your heart!'/ He was liked the least of Ten/ and they threw him off the rampart.

'I'll take you out to seas of black/ Bind your feet and wrists/ And push you off the slipp'ry deck/ To drown in the Abyss.'

'No no, I say, each is too dull/ Not one of them will end my days/ I wish to die, be nix and null/ In death I wish to stay.'

'I'll hang you up until you choke/ It will be quick due to your size/ And crows will come to peck and poke/ Your tongue and ears and eyes.'

And sitting next to blazing fire/ His daughter said "May I suggest?/ A funeral pyre, that's your desire!/ To burn to ash is best!'

'No no, I say, each is too dull/ Not one of them will end my days/ All of them! At once! Them all!/ I'll die ten different ways!'

So he was stabbed while with a wench/ and the bed was set afire/ which sat astern a little skiff/ and his neck was bound with wire.

The poisoned wine had whisked its way/ Straight to Old Man Ten's head/ As he lay with lusty wench/ on a burning, bloody bed.

And the skiff was pushed off a great big cliff/ to tumble to the seas of black/ and boulders came down after him/ so smash him with a CRACK!

Which also smashed the hapless wolves/ That tore his limbs to scraps/ And smiling from his son's bad joke/ Into death he finally lapsed.

'No no, I say, each is too dull/ Not one of them will end my days/ All of them! At once! Them all!/ I'll die ten different ways!'/ All of them! At once! Them all!/ I'll die ten different ways!'/"