Old Man Ten

"Old Man Ten had ten young get
Yet not a one of them was young
But Old Man Ten would soon be dead
And about his bed they hung.

An ocean of tears did they each give
To shower their dying dad
On the day it looked like he might live
Not one in ten was glad.

'It looks the worst,' said dear old dad
It looks as if I may pull through!
'Fret not father! Poison's to be had
That could do for five of you!'

'Or I could find a big red rock!'
Exclaimed the youngest of his brood
'And all the redder it would look
With the addition of your blood!'

'No no, I say, each is too dull
Not one of them will end my days
I wish to die, be nix and null
In death I wish to stay.'

'Forget the stones, he'll want a blade!
Sharp as blade can be!
And when we've done just as he bade
He'll share his death with me!'

'A wench! A fresh and lusty wench!
No, two! No, three! No, four!
The heart of him they'll twist and wrench
Until he's dead on the floor!'

'No no, I say, each is too dull
Not one of them will end my days
I wish to die, be nix and null
In death I wish to stay.'

'I will take you out into snow,'
mused the cruelest of his bunch
'And to the wolves I'll have you go
They'll eat you up for lunch!'

'I'll throw you through the big window
Like an eagle will you fly
And when you crumple on crags below
You'll smile as you die.'

'No no, I say, each is too dull
Not one of them will end my days
I wish to die, be nix and null
In death I wish to stay.'

'BOO! Haha, I'll scare you stiff!
A fright will stop your heart!'
He was liked the least of Ten
and they threw him off the rampart.

'I'll take you out to seas of black
Bind your feet and wrists
And push you off the slipp'ry deck
To drown in the Abyss.'

'No no, I say, each is too dull
Not one of them will end my days
I wish to die, be nix and null
In death I wish to stay.'

'I'll hang you up until you choke
It will be quick due to your size
And crows will come to peck and poke
Your tongue and ears and eyes.'

And sitting next to blazing fire
His daughter said "May I suggest?
A funeral pyre, that's your desire!
To burn to ash is best!'

'No no, I say, each is too dull
Not one of them will end my days
All of them! At once! Them all!
I'll die ten different ways!'

So he was stabbed while with a wench
and the bed was set afire
which sat astern a little skiff
and his neck was bound with wire.

The poisoned wine had whisked its way
Straight to Old Man Ten's head
As he lay with lusty wench
on a burning, bloody bed.

And the skiff was pushed off a great big cliff
to tumble to the seas of black
and boulders came down after him
so smash him with a CRACK!

Which also smashed the hapless wolves
That tore his limbs to scraps
And smiling from his son's bad joke
Into death he finally lapsed.

'No no, I say, each is too dull
Not one of them will end my days
All of them! At once! Them all!
I'll die ten different ways!'
All of them! At once! Them all!
I'll die ten different ways!'"