User:Kozak

Andrew Kozak was created accidentally in a laboratory when a botanist clumsily cut his hand with a stone knife of Nordic origin that happened to by lying around. The curse that spilled from the scientist's lips just so happened to be the incantation necessary to summon a warrior from the halls of Valhalla given a blood sacrifice. Odin himself emerged in a flash of power and made sweet love to the receptionist, who 9 months later gave birth to a fully grown adult, who punched his way out of the womb. After intense study by the U.S. government, the being now known as Andrew Kozak was determined safe for human interaction and was released under a work study program.

Today, Andrew weightlifts Mini Coopers and frequents Starbucks in an attempt to converse with the patrons who use the 2% milk carafe.